What I'll Miss...

I will miss my kids

I won't miss my kids' friends

I will miss sushi

I won't miss fish sticks

I will miss driving

I won't miss the DMV

I will miss breakfast in bed

I won't miss scrambled eggs

I will miss my very-own bedroom

I won't miss my pillow

I will miss a private bathroom

I won't miss cleaning my toilet

I will miss Slate

I won't miss Fox News

I will miss NPR

I won't miss NPR fundraisers

I will miss fireworks

I won't miss President's Day

I will miss my e-cigarette

I won't miss nicotine withdrawal

I will miss my niece and nephews

I won't miss Minneapolis

I will miss walking to the post office

I won't miss the post office

I will miss wearing whatever I want

I won't miss shopping for clothes

I will miss Sorbet

I won't miss cleaning Sorbet's poop

I will miss ice cream and Greek yogurt

I won't miss cows

I will miss women

I won't miss men

I will miss parent-teacher conferences

I won't miss other parents

I will miss vacations

I won't miss deciding where to go 

I will miss doing homework with my children

I won't miss math

I will miss being able to go to the dentist

I won't miss going to the dentist

I will miss swimming

I won't miss surfing

I will miss my passport

I won't miss visas

I will miss flying

I won't miss airports

I will miss Netflix

I won't miss Hulu

I will miss Microsoft Word

I won't miss Microsoft

I will miss NA meetings

I won't miss addicts

I will miss Target

I won't miss Wal-Mart

I will miss having money

I won't miss money

I will miss Chinese food

I won't miss Indian food

I will miss voting

I won't miss election coverage

I will miss my apartment

I won't miss paying rent

I will miss being a lawyer

I won't miss working as a lawyer

I will miss my last job

I won't miss the job before that

I will miss some Russians

I won't miss Russia

I will miss Moscow

I won't miss Putin

I will miss my lawyer

I won't miss my federal prosecutor

I will miss Facebook

I won't miss Twitter

I will miss the seasons

I won't miss the snow

I will miss driving fast

I won't miss red lights

I will miss homemade food

I won't miss cooking dinner

I will miss fresh melon and strawberries

I won't miss apples or bananas

 I will miss Culver's

I won't miss McDonald's

I will miss the ocean

I won't miss rivers

I will miss my life

I won't miss prison